Written by Hero Magnus
Music can speak for itself, and most of the time, it has to. But, when the musician is as vivacious as Carlos Vara, it’s a shame to miss out on what he has to say. “Impossible” is the latest sad-bop release from the up and coming musician and it’s one of the most vulnerable, raw and transparent tracks you’ll hear within his catalog to date.
“The track is different in a sense that lyrically it’s just me talking to myself. It’s pretty much a full-on conversation with me, like with the verses, “I’m the only one here in this bed overthinking comments in a text.” It’s not necessarily about anyone else. It’s about me sitting in the bedroom, feeling so anxious even texting friends back, because I can’t tell if they’re mad at me. Are they mad? Are they sad? I can’t decipher things.”
– Carlos Vara
Vara describes his brand as “millennial-meets-antidepressant-meets-modern-classic;” There’s a little bit there for everyone, I think. Music seems to give the usually bubbly Vara an opportunity to delve deeper into his thoughts and feelings, which may be why some of his songs have such a “dramatic” or “extreme” theme.
“I hope people connect to it, and see the vulnerability and transparency. I hope that they realize they aren’t alone and find some comfort in that.”
– Carlos Vara
Vara debuted with a song called “Numb,” which revealed a lot of melancholy in contrast to his bubbly personality and pop aesthetics. The singer followed it up with “Confident,” a track about being insecure at parties or when you’re out on the town; think a more danceable version of Alessia Cara’s “Here.”
Vara continues to showcase his vulnerability with this third single, “Impossible.” The vocals are the highlight of this song, which seems as though it was written specifically to show off Vara’s absolutely stunning falsetto. His tone is clear and golden, reminiscent of Sam Smith’s vocals.
“The inspiration behind the song was just kind of me having a conversation with myself being angry at myself for being angry at myself. It’s just a conversation, kind of coming to Jesus moment myself doing like, “why are you constantly destroying yourself?” But also destroying myself in the song. It’s a very, very personal song to me because it’s just real situations, like it’s pretty much me talking to myself, stream of consciousness like, “Don’t be stupid. Don’t do this again. You’re always breaking up relationships.” I have a tendency to feel like I’m always a burden on everybody. And then in the second verse, I drop my own name. I’m like, “Carlos, why you got to be so impossible?” I’m legitimately screaming at myself, so the song is really about me trying to figure out life out and giving myself a pep talk and discipline but also being frustrated within it all. Yeah. I mean, it’s really just a song to me and my personal struggles with my inner demons.”
– Carlos Vara
The bridge is also interesting, musically — Vara’s voice is accompanied by a collection of voices and vocal harmonies as he sings: “All the pain, all the hurt, hate the violence / All this shit that I say in the quiet / Need a break, need a breath in the silence / I can’t fight it.” The overall effect of the inspiring lyrics and the chorus of voices seems to be a nod to gospel music, and adds some musical interest and variety. “Impossible” stays very loyal to the traditions of purely-pop music, but it’s still nice to tangle with other genres.
“…the chorus says, “Why do you got to rain on my parade, screaming that you hate me?” I’m yelling at myself for yelling at myself, telling myself that I hate me. So I think I really wanted to capture just as raw as I could be and as vulnerable as I could be with how I treat myself and how upsetting that is for me to know that I don’t always treat myself with the most respect. And I think that it’s different in a sense that it’s just 100% open, honest, which I try to do mostly in my music. And just musically, it’s different in just like the melodies and the chorus and the bridge. I got to really show my church roots in the bridge to an extent, like [inaudible] on that production. And I just think it’s me growing up in church, plus pop music, plus Queen and bands like that. The song really captures those influences.”
– Carlos Vara
Vara grew up in South Carolina with a nightclub-owner-turned-preacher for a father, dealing with being gay and closeted in a tiny town. He channeled his frustration into music, and in his late teens moved to Nashville to pursue the industry further. In an interview with PROHBT, Vara talks about how being part of marginalized communities helped mold his goals for music, and says that, “really, I just feel like I’m a child of America. This is America, what it should be… Now there are scared little kids who are gay and living in the South or kids who are Hispanic and don’t feel like they really fit in. I come from an extreme environment, and I hope that I can be a light to the people who are in that now.”
I like that Vara is not afraid to reveal the vulnerable and transparent side of his personality and the things he really cares about. It takes a lot of bravery to do so, especially in front of anyone, let alone a worldwide audience. All the gumption, and the gorgeous voice, is enough for me.
Listen To Carlos Vara’s “Impossible”
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